It’s that time of year again. The weather is changing, everything is on sale, your neighbour is putting up their obnoxious Christmas light display, and every room, office or store you walk into is playing their playlist of Holiday music. But let’s face it: ‘Holiday’ music is just the 2017 PC code for Christmas music. You’ll never hear any Hanukkah songs in those playlists. So I’m here to give you my Power Rankings of ALL Holiday Music which will include the oh so often forgotten Chosen people’s Hanukkah jams.
5. Winter Wonderland by Doris Day
Leading for the Christmas side is Winter Wonderland. This song has the slow-paced allure to it, that reminds you of an early age Hollywood Romance. The melody immediately evokes those December feelings of snowfall, firewood crackling and the smell of hot cocoa with marshmallows. A strong ballad to start off the list.
4. Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms
Coming in at a strong 4, Jingle Bell Rock is the quintessential 50’s Christmas song. Listening to this song without tapping your foot to the beat is impossible. It has the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons vibe with the smooth guitar and velvety harmonies. And then there is this legendary rendition:
Oh 2004 Lindsay Lohan, where have you gone?
3. Miracle by Matisyahu
The Roots Rock Reggae of Matisyahu comes in at number 3 with his Hanukkah inspired song. Not since the birth of Christ have Jews had anything to be this proud of at this time of year. That is until Matisyahu burst onto the scene with Miracle. A classic reggae storytelling of the Maccabee victory over the Greeks, this song gives the alienated Jew on your street the little confidence they need to get through the 24/7, in your face Christmas environment. Bless up, Matis.
2. All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey
A smash hit for the Christmas team. I mean come on, it’s not even fair to have Mariah Carey on your team. Her vocal range, her mid 2000’s looks, it’s no wonder this song comes in at number 2. Let’s be honest though, the lyrics are as misleading as your Uncle telling you that “egg nog tastes good.” As much as we want to pretend we enjoy spending the holiday season with that special someone, there is not one honest person who will give up on the presents and decorations for more ‘alone time’ with the ball and chain. All in all, a Christmas classic.
1. Hanukkah Song 1, 2, 3 and 4 by Adam Sandler
The OG of Hanukkah hits, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song was the answer to the muted demands for a Jewish holiday song. From the man who brought you Tollbooth Willy and Cock and Balls, Adam Sandler played to the inferiority complex of Jewish kids during the Christmas season with his masterpiece. By listing off all of the Jews in show biz, The Hanukkah song effortlessly boosted the egos of all the little Shlomos at Hebrew School. Since 1996, Adam Sandler has been gracing us with the ever-growing list of Jewish celebrities, shrinking the divide between the ‘Chosen people’ and their Christian brethren every holiday season.